Being in the now.
Starting blogs seems so awkward to me. Should I acknowledge you and say hello or go immediately into my thoughts? But I want you to know I am thinking a bit of you when I write this. I think about you so much that I am working on not having run-on sentences. That’s right – feel the love.
Anyways, I wanted to share a funny story.
Last Friday I went to my friend’s Julie and Dillon’s wedding. I was running sound for the wedding, and during the dinner rehearsal Dillon spent a lot of time talking to me making sure I knew when and how to start/stop the music. I was very appreciative, but was thinking that he should be more focused on his job, since he had a much bigger role than me! The next day I showed up to the wedding an hour early, and it was in a beautiful outdoor garden. All the girls in the bridal party were in a room hanging out, but I felt as though I should stay outside to be available for any sound stuff. Outside I talked to a few of the guys in the bridal party, but eventually just ended up talking to Dillon again. When it was 15 minutes before the wedding, Dillon, a nice musician named Mark, and I stood in the back as people filed in. This was the first time I hung out with a groom before their wedding. I have been with many brides right before, and it is usually full of questions asking her how she is, trying to keep her calm, praying for her, etc. My experience with talking to a man before his wedding was SO opposite. Dillon talked about how hungry he was, so sent Mark off to find a granola bar for him 10 minutes before the service. He then pointed out his friend that he was going to try to set me up with, and I respond to him “Dillon! This is your day! Not mine!” And he replies with a goofy grin, “Rachel, it is your day too!”. I was so perplexed. Not by him trying to set me up, but that he didn’t seem to be shaken or really thinking much about what was going to happen 5 minutes from that moment. It was as if we were just making short talk after a Sunday morning church service.
Now do I think Dillon was too calm? Yes. And he probably was thinking about what was going to happen in 5 minutes, he just wasn’t talking about it. But it made me analyze how I think, and I am so guilty of thinking WAY too much about the future. I am always thinking about what’s gonna happen next. On the way to work I am planning what I am going to do after work. While at work I think about what I might be doing in a year. After work I think about what I will do the next day. Of course, there should be a balance, I need to plan some things ahead of time. But really, I want to be more like Dillon, and just have my mind in the moment. Enjoy the hour for what it is.
At the same time, as a Christian, I am called to not only think about the moment though. This is where things get tricky. I want to also always live my life with eternal perspective. This means taking each moment, and asking two questions:
1. Is this moment going to really matter in the perspective of eternity?
2: What can I do to make this moment count in perspective of eternity?
If I really had an eternal perspective at all times, I think it would actually be easier to just live and be in the moment. If I was not thinking about the future so much, I wouldn’t miss what was happening now, and all the opportunities that each moment may have to make eternal impact on others.
I am going to work on being in the now, since that will make greater impact than me thinking about what will always happen next.