I feel like such a dork.
Hopefully none of you realized, but I totally misquoted something. It kind of doesn’t matter, but really, it does. This whole time the “title” of my blog had been “Whenever You lead, I’ll sing harmony.” That is actually a lyric from Bethany Dillon’s song “Let Your Light Shine.” And guess what. That isn’t the correct line.
The correct line, and now changed in my blog is “Wherever You lead I’ll sing harmony.” So actually it was just one letter, but still – totally different word.
Why is that lyric the title of my blog? Great question. Allow me to share, of course in a very long story. :)
I have been realizing more and more this year how selfishly I have always lived. So much of what I do is for me and my personal gain. Even things for the Lord can so easily become selfish. Such as leading worship; I used to lead worship 3-4 times a week in college. Now I help with worship once a month. At first I was SO upset. Upset with God for fashioning these gifts in me and now not being able to use them.
But then God decided to have a humbling conversation with me, which went a little something like this…
me: God, I am so upset that I am barely leading worship anymore. I thought I have been following your path for me, why is it like this? I hate this.
God: “Rachel, when was leading worship ever about you?”
me: “But God I love it and I love being used in that way.
God: “I know, but so often it becomes about you. You want to lead worship on stage because you like it. Do you need to be up on stage to worship Me? Ever? If I never have you lead worship again, will you be okay with that? You need to be. Rachel, you say “Use me in whatever way You want, but you really mean “Use me in worship or in leadership”, and if you aren’t in those roles, then you are not happy”. I want to use you in whatever way I want, and at times it may not be those roles. And you need to be okay with that. I want you to lead others to Jesus with how you worship me with your life, not how you lead worship on stage. And plus, think of things eternally Rachel. In the end, you are going to be worshiping Me for all of eternity. And that will be really soon, I promise. So stop freaking out. ”
So then I stopped freaking out.
And now I really love being part of worship when I am, and really okay when I am not, because the truth is, I am always worshiping Him. And I have been using my music gifts in other ways, like piano lessons! And lots of writing songs for Him, which is a blessing for Him and fun for me. I am truly blessed.
And how does this tie into my title “Wherever You lead I’ll sing harmony”? Well, it is a good theme for my life, and this blog. I don’t want to be leading my life, for my own selfish gain. I want to be always listening to the Father, His melody, and gladly following and singing harmony over Him. And I want to do this whenever, wherever, however He sings / leads. This puts me in the position of always needing to be close to Him, to hear Him, and to follow everything He does, allowing Him to get all the glory.
Here is the song by Bethany Dillon. The lyric is in the bridge.