I am going to try blogging regularly. We will see how long this actually lasts. I figure if I blog more often, my blogs will be shorter. Win – win for all I think.
Tonight was our first worship night at our church (it was so great). Our pastor came up every few songs and just did different things. The last time he came up, he just read scripture, and he told us that if we felt any word or phrase stick out to us and God wanted us to hear that, then ignore the rest of the verses and just meditate on that one verse.
First David (my pastor) read Psalm 145. I didn’t really want to do his exercise, because I like hearing the whole section of scripture, but after I heard “He is filled with kindness” (NLT version). I couldn’t really focus on anything else he was saying.
I assumed God wanted me to dwell upon that, and I didn’t really know why, so of course I started asking Him why. And He spoke, how wonderful is He.
I have lately been feeling like a tree continually getting pruned by God. Much like John 15:2, “He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful”. I just kept feeling that God had these huge sharp tree trimmers and he kept jabbing them at me. I knew it was for my best, but it has been painful, this pruning process. My view of God had been the past couple weeks of Him just wanting to work on me.
So to sit and dwell upon “He is filled with kindness” was like seeing more of His face revealed when I have been only focusing on one part. I forgot that God is kind. And I needed for some reason to hear the adjective/verb kind. I have been hearing from God a lot that He is loving, but in my mind I kept saying “Ya you love me, so You are hurting me cause that’s what is best now, like a dad disciplining his child”. But that wasn’t what God was trying to tell me. He was trying to tell me that His love is kind. He isn’t continually jabbing my side. He is affectionate and caring towards me.
I am really happy about that.