DTR – it’s better to know than to not.

by rachelshane

Hello friends.

Since my last blog was about “death” and all, I figure I would lighten up the mood with a fun topic, DTRs :)

For all the single people out there, or even if you are in a relationship (maybe to clear up an awkward situation), to be able to conduct a DTR is a worthy skill.

What is a DTR? Great question, it is an acronym, obviously, for Define The Relationship. Oh fun.

Why am I writing a blog about DTRs? Well many reasons, first, because this is a blog, and I can write whatever I want. Secondly, I think DTRs are great, and people should put them into practice more, so I want to explain why and how to conduct one of these super fun and perhaps awkward experiences.

People are beautiful. We are unique. One way that we are so incredible is that we all feel different things. Have you ever felt feelings for someone but don’t know if they feel the same way? Or maybe vice versa, that one person keeps asking you to hang out, but you for some reason have no desire to be around them than longer than necessary. Or perhaps you are just hanging out with someone a lot recently and wonder if there is something more than friendship happening. All of the examples above are great reasons to have a DTR.

I first learned about DTRs in college, I think. At least that is when I intentionally started doing them. Oh, and I dedicate this blog to Austin Satrom, the king of DTRs. I salute you.

How to have a DTR is quite simple. Simply define the relationship with the other person, but there are 3 key points to remember.

1. Be intentional: DTRs are awkward, and 9 out of 10 times, you are going to wish you didn’t have to bring the issue up with someone. But if you know you should probably see where a relationship is leading, then bring it up!
2. Be honest: there is no point in the DTR if you are not going to tell the truth.
3. Be simple. I have had many DTRs, and most of them have lasted about 1 minute. You don’t have to share EVERY feeling you have for the other person. Wrap your feelings into one or two sentences. That is usually all you need.

Why do a DTR? Well that one minute of awkwardness can save one hours, months, and perhaps years of emotional pain. Do you have that friend who you know has liked you for a while? Yeah, if you would have DTR’d it a month ago they would have been in a much better place right now. ;)

Or maybe you have had a crush on someone for a while. A long while. If you are man, what the heck are you doing, go ask her out. If she says no, get over it, or woo her over if you think there is a chance. If you are a girl, I know it is more difficult, but if you REALLY can’t tell if the guy is interested in you or not (and usually you can tell, so if he doesn’t like you, stop being around him so much to get over him, and if he likes you, wait for him to express his feelings for you first cause that is more fun), and I am serious, if you REALLY can’t tell if he likes you or not, I think you totally can just DTR it. You don’t have to share every detail about how you feel, but simply say something like, “Hey, I think you are really cool and awesome, and I really enjoy hanging with you, I was kind of wondering how you felt?” or something like that.

Now always be sensitive of the other person’s heart when having a DTR. Don’t be rude, treat all others with honor. Also, when having a DTR, don’t acknowledge that it is a DTR. That makes it more awkward. Just express your feelings.

So go. Be strong. DTR. Live free.