Rachel Shane

Month: July, 2010

DTR – it’s better to know than to not.

Hello friends.

Since my last blog was about “death” and all, I figure I would lighten up the mood with a fun topic, DTRs :)

For all the single people out there, or even if you are in a relationship (maybe to clear up an awkward situation), to be able to conduct a DTR is a worthy skill.

What is a DTR? Great question, it is an acronym, obviously, for Define The Relationship. Oh fun.

Why am I writing a blog about DTRs? Well many reasons, first, because this is a blog, and I can write whatever I want. Secondly, I think DTRs are great, and people should put them into practice more, so I want to explain why and how to conduct one of these super fun and perhaps awkward experiences.

People are beautiful. We are unique. One way that we are so incredible is that we all feel different things. Have you ever felt feelings for someone but don’t know if they feel the same way? Or maybe vice versa, that one person keeps asking you to hang out, but you for some reason have no desire to be around them than longer than necessary. Or perhaps you are just hanging out with someone a lot recently and wonder if there is something more than friendship happening. All of the examples above are great reasons to have a DTR.

I first learned about DTRs in college, I think. At least that is when I intentionally started doing them. Oh, and I dedicate this blog to Austin Satrom, the king of DTRs. I salute you.

How to have a DTR is quite simple. Simply define the relationship with the other person, but there are 3 key points to remember.

1. Be intentional: DTRs are awkward, and 9 out of 10 times, you are going to wish you didn’t have to bring the issue up with someone. But if you know you should probably see where a relationship is leading, then bring it up!
2. Be honest: there is no point in the DTR if you are not going to tell the truth.
3. Be simple. I have had many DTRs, and most of them have lasted about 1 minute. You don’t have to share EVERY feeling you have for the other person. Wrap your feelings into one or two sentences. That is usually all you need.

Why do a DTR? Well that one minute of awkwardness can save one hours, months, and perhaps years of emotional pain. Do you have that friend who you know has liked you for a while? Yeah, if you would have DTR’d it a month ago they would have been in a much better place right now. ;)

Or maybe you have had a crush on someone for a while. A long while. If you are man, what the heck are you doing, go ask her out. If she says no, get over it, or woo her over if you think there is a chance. If you are a girl, I know it is more difficult, but if you REALLY can’t tell if the guy is interested in you or not (and usually you can tell, so if he doesn’t like you, stop being around him so much to get over him, and if he likes you, wait for him to express his feelings for you first cause that is more fun), and I am serious, if you REALLY can’t tell if he likes you or not, I think you totally can just DTR it. You don’t have to share every detail about how you feel, but simply say something like, “Hey, I think you are really cool and awesome, and I really enjoy hanging with you, I was kind of wondering how you felt?” or something like that.

Now always be sensitive of the other person’s heart when having a DTR. Don’t be rude, treat all others with honor. Also, when having a DTR, don’t acknowledge that it is a DTR. That makes it more awkward. Just express your feelings.

So go. Be strong. DTR. Live free.


I died…what??

A verse has been basically attacking my mind. I thought I better blog.

Colossians 3:1-3 says “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you will appear with him in glory.”

Okay, I am going to go back and forth emphasizing things. First, and my favorite part about this verse is the words, “FOR YOU DIED”. I see this as totally good.

Many people may be critical and think, so am I supposed to be a robot and have no personality and be this awkward person trying to be hidden in Christ? Um, no. First off, Jesus’ personality is way better than yours anyways, and I would personally like His personality to replace any of mine. And to understand this better, it is important to read the gospels and understand who this person is. He is the most loving, selfless, unique person ever. Way cooler than you or I am, promise. So anyways, if I am hidden in Christ, and he comes forth more than me, than what comes forth? A loving, kind, joyful, person who loves to bless others more than myself. I choose that person rather than me to shine forth. And to answer the question in the beginning of this paragraph completely, no, it does not mean for you to be a boring weird robot person.

Secondly, this whole dying thing has major benefits. Our sin is dead and no longer alive. This is so great and hit me in a story that I will write right now.

As I said in my last blog, when I moved to Fargo, I learned a lot, and especially about surrendering EVERYTHING in my life to the Lord. In high school, I did not really have that figured out. Probably still don’t, but I am a lot closer. In high school I did not have appropriate relationships with guys, and I didn’t really care. I totally led that part of my life, and when I moved, my sin was exposed, and it was a huge humbling experience. I decided to not really have any guy friends for the rest of that year. Which was a GOOD thing for me to do. Then throughout the following summer and year, I worked on having healthy relationships with guys, and for the most part, figured it out. Learned how to have DTRs, which will probably be my next blog :)

When I moved back home, guilt from my past relationships in high school hit me again. I had been walking in freedom with relationships for a long while, and then boom, the wounds of my sin came upon me so fresh in my heart once again.

Thankfully the Lord spoke to me threw this verse and some sweet people.

The truth is, I was that person, who hurt people a lot, but that person DIED a LONG time ago.

One of my prophetic friends came up to me during a prayer night and told me, “I see you in your car, continually looking in your back mirror, and God wants to rip that mirror off.”

Friends, our past life is gone and dead. Sin from 10 years ago and 10 minutes ago. Continually my sin is dying, and being replaced with LIFE. We don’t need to continually be looking back. It is good to look back, learn how to change, and move on.

I am sure I read this in psalms, but now I can only think of the lyrics from the Shane and Shane song “I’m Alive”, but the chorus (and song) is so good. The words are “You have resurrected my heart from the grave, and I’m alive”.

So really, I was dead either way, but now, I am alive.

The verses in that song come from Galatians 2:20 – “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

So another truth, our life is TOTALLY worth giving up for Jesus. Not only the fact that we reap much, but solely that He is so worthy of our lives. When you get to know Jesus, and just who He is, He is totally worth surrendering everything for. We all surrender our lives to something – perhaps relationships or money or cooking or video games. I think once you know who Jesus is, and even if there was no benefit to us, (which there is), it makes sense to say, “okay, You can have my time and devotion, you are so good and so worthy of it just because of who You are.” Because Jesus is better than relationships, better than cooking, better than anything.

There is even so much more to the verse above, but I will hold for later. I think I am already getting sidetracked and will stop.

The Big Move

Hello everyone!

This is my very first blog post, (how exciting!), so I would like to talk a little bit about what God has taught me with a huge change in my life.

I will first share some details about what lead me to where I am now.

I started a relationship with Jesus when I was in 7th grade.  Since then I have been very passionate about God, but I led a very hypocritical life, not giving Him control over a many aspects in my life.  Throughout high school I was a leader in the church, but many of my actions in certain areas of my life did not reflect a life devoted to following Christ.  I ended up graduating and moving to go to Concordia College in Moorhead, MN.  This is probably the second greatest thing that has ever happened to me, below getting saved.   Through the years of being in Moorhead and eventually living in Fargo, God taught me SO MUCH, which I am sure will come up in other blog posts, but not this one :)

I was blessed unmeasurably in Fargo.  I had met the most incredible people that exist, my friendships were healthy and solid, I had a fun job, and PLENTY of sweet privileges for doing ministry.  I had a few astounding mentors pouring so much into me, along with an amazing church sharing with me wisdom and helping refine the gifts the Lord has given me.  Basically, I could not ask for more.

But, I for some reason set up my life to be able to graduate from college two years early.  I don’t recommend this to anyone, unless you are going to a private college like I was, and have to pay for college by yourself like I do.  But even if that is the situation for you, I still don’t recommend graduating two years early.  College is too fun.

Anyways, upon much praying, and crying, I felt the Lord calling me to leave Fargo.

To go where? Back home?? Where I have very few friends, no ministry opportunities, mentors are far away, and I am once again living with my parents. (um, no thanks).

Some options that ran threw my mind:

Somewhere super cool!
I actually thought I was going to move to the other side of the country and go to seminary, but the Lord very kindly shut that door. Maybe for another year.

Grad school!
I LOVE learning, but I for some reason have no desire for grad school, and loans basically freak me out, so I am working to pay them off as soon as possible.

So, through more prayer and crying, home was the plan.

So, I moved from Fargo in the middle of May. Before I left, I was offered a free place to stay in Fargo, and my career counselor found the perfect job for me, but alas, I still felt it so urgent upon my heart that I had to move.  I prayed that it was only for the summer, and then in the fall I could come back to Fargo, but I had a feeling that wouldn’t be true.

The first week back home was so terrible.  I feel so bad for my parents.  I think I referred to Fargo about 30 times a day.  Home could have been a whole different country, everything was so opposite to me.  People in Fargo and people in the suburbs of Minneapolis are SO different, at least, the crowds I hung out with.  After going through a culture shock, (I know, you may be snickering, but I have talked to people who lived in Fargo and moved back, and they say everything I went through is completely normal and legit), I calmed down, went back to the secret place and sought the Lord for hours a day, praying that His will for bringing me back home would be made known.

Friends, the Lord is faithful!!!

I am attending a brand new church in Blaine, Minnesota, called Renovation Church (I highly recommend checking it out!!). I asked to meet with the pastor of the church, who used to be my youth pastor in high school, and was ready to ask him how I can get involved in the church.  I had prayed and “studied” the church on my own (tried to figure out the church by their website, which is wwww.renovationchurchmn.org ) and tried to find little places where I could serve.

The pastor had been praying where to place me as well, and asked me to pray about starting the youth group for 6-12th graders for the church.
That proposal was much larger than anything I had come up with. Obviously I was incredibly excited upon the offer, starting new ministries is totally my thing, but I promised I would go home and earnestly seek the Lord and see if this is what He wanted.

After much prayer, I felt led to be part of this church and help out with the youth… so I am helping start a youth group at Renovation Church.  EXCITING!!!

I am excited to work with students, but for a while, (and still a little bit now) it was a difficult transition in my heart.  For the past two years, my heart has been so engrossed with college and worship ministry, that it is hard to turn my head in a new direction. I do hope that I can do college ministry again, and be as involved in worship ministry as I was in Fargo once again, but the Lord has spoken that now is not the season.

Luke 9:62 Jesus says, “No one who puts his hands to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the Kingdom of God.”

Fire-y words that convicted my heart!! The Lord blessed my time and ministry in Fargo, but He has called me to a new place and a new ministry.  Everything that happened in Fargo/Moorhead was because of Him, and I can’t keep looking back, wishing that I was leading the things I did.  The things I led was a privilege and a blessing, and it is over, and time to move on. The Lord has blessed me with many new opportunities to serve Him, and I am so excited about that.

I am trying to train my heart to not look back on Fargo and wishing I was there, but looking back and only seeing the Lord’s faithfulness, and taking what I learned from there and thrusting it into my future ministry and life.  I don’t want to play the “what if” game, wondering what my life would be like if I would have stayed.  I didn’t. My future and ministry is obviously completely altered.  I trust and know it is all part of His beautiful plan for me.